Monday Meditation: Give Your Soul Some Love and Be Your Self!

"Who you naturally are is FAR more inspiring than who you pretend to be. This is the fact. And what ELSE is cool is when we stop pretending to be someone and just start being ourselves, we are no longer BSing ourselves and so we actually take our power back, instead of giving it away by pretending to be perfect. And as we start to respect ourselves more, we take more action and as we take more action grounded in self-respect, really cool things start to happen and a positive cycle of momentum is created." -Mastin Kipp via The Daily Love

Image source

I love this quote AND this visual. It really helps show the parallels and implications of choosing to listen to our EGO or our SOUL. When we are struggling or going through a period of growth it can be easy to listen to the ego: I'm not strong enough, brave enough, cool enough, beautiful enough. STOP. You ARE enough! The ego is that dark side buried in your sub-conscious that tries to convince you of negativity or self-doubt. 

I had a conversation with a girlfriend this weekend about the importance of  loving ALL aspects of yourself--the good, the bad, and the ugly...whole-heartedly...in order to give any part of yourself to another. Ah-ha!

Image source

I struggled with this a few years ago as I suffered with severe anxiety. (I know, the social butterfly, wow!) I was going through a period of tremendous loss, change, and growth and was trying to manage my silly ego:

• I can handle this on my own, chin up, keep smiling
• People will think I am nuts if I explain what's going on
• I wish I could change what happened in the past
•  I am misunderstood/alone
•  Ego, ego, ego! 

Image source

Everyone has their own battles, fears, or issues. It may not be anxiety or grief, but certainly everyone can relate to trying to silence a nagging ego, or trying to fit in, or denying some facet of ourselves that we wish wasn't there. But the more you resist, the more it persists!!!

Image source

When I finally began to listen to my soul/inner JAM/true Self, my whole world began to open up!

The experience and challenge significantly changed me... for the better! It's all about what you choose to make of it, yes, make something of it! I hope by me sharing my experience will help some readers be themselves and give their souls some love and embrace the challenges they are facing!

Am I more forgiving of others now? Yes, everyone's facing a battle you may not know about! Did I learn to be grateful for each moment and appreciate my support system? Certainly, I am incredibly blessed! Do I still hear my ego? Sure, but it doesn't win when I simply listen to my authentic Self and stay present and positive!

Image source

But most importantly I learned:

• Build on the positive and be productive
• Be true to my Self and not judge my Self so critically
• Be open and vulnerable around those I love and trust; I don't have to give everyone an explanation
• Surround my Self with those who lift me higher
• My family loves me unconditionally
• Everyone deals with loss and grief differently
• Getting help shows strength and humility!
• Be passionate about life...YOLO! I can only live in the Now
• Don't just talk about it, BE about it!
• I love ALL aspects of my Self!

So.......

Image source

• How can you let go of your past?
• How can you be more gentle to your Self?
• Are you trying to impress others or are you being honest with your Self?
• How can you respect your body more?
• Are you listening to your ego or your authentic soul?
• Are you surrounding your Self with people who love, accept, and encourage you to be your Self?
• Are you being proactive and growing?
• Did you tell your Self today that you're awesome!

I say, give your soul some love and meditate on being your Self!

Monday Meditation: What Drives Your Future?

 

Happy Monday, MLK Day, and Presidential Inauguration! I absolutely LOVE this MLK quote and could not agree more. At times, when I struggle to focus my energy towards positivity, this quote serves as a great reminder for me. Dwelling in the negative, accepting the status quo, or remaining in a rut will not promote productivity, passion, or peace. Period. When we grieve from loss in our personal life, or mourn as a nation from violence in our schools, we must seek the light from within to drive out darkness. Otherwise, "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Sharpen your focus-- on healing, love, light, compassion, and progress. Move forward, with light and love. So with this Monday Meditation, what drives your future? Lead wisely.

Wordless Wednesday: Know What?

Image source

In honor of  (one of) the recent Golden Globes
 hilarious, successful, bossypants host, Tina Fey.
Get it done!!!
Gotta be sure to remind myself this! :)

Monday Meditation: Resistance

"What you resist persists." -Carl Jung

This quote has really resonated with me recently. As a young adult, we sometimes get caught up in a sense of image or deny our authentic self. However, the more we deny/ignore/resist a certain aspect of ourselves because it is uncomfortable/scary/deep--the more it persists and manifests in other aspects of our life. It's kind of like that smashing game you played as a kid, as soon as you think you bopped that creature on the head and pushed him back in...sure enough, he sneaks back out and pops up in another place!



90s kids game shoutout...cmon you know you and all your friends played it at Chuck E Cheese! I sure did!
Image source

I see this happening so often amongst my friends, young people, Clevelanders, Americans, and society in general. I've even found myself in the place at times too. The trick to the ego-game is to not let your flaws define you, and to simply acknowledge it, embrace it, and accept it. We are so focused on resisting a facet of ourselves we do not accept, that in "ignoring" it, it actually persists, permeates, and pepetuates into many seeping aspects of our lives...

Yes, Jess, yes--BTW I LOVVVVVE "New Girl" another awesomely quirky Jess to add to the list!
Image source

 So my Monday Meditation is to EMBRACE IT!



Give yourself a big ole hug!!!
Image source

Love your flaws, quirks. neuroses, immune health, diagnoses, fat belly, empty pockets, low scores, loud voice, high emotion, off-key notes, and whatever else you are afraid to admit to yourself. Accept it in order to finally let it go, because the more you resist, the more it persists. It's just one small aspect of yourself--that you are allowing to take over by ignoring it. Ever try to go to sleep with a mosquito in your room? That lil guy can turn into a huge problem-- try to ignore it, and those itchy bloodsucking bites will be there when you wake up, letting its presence be known!


So my CLE Believers, how can you let go today? What areas of your life are persistently challenging? How can you love all aspects of yourself--flaws and all? How are you overcoming your obstacles and hang-ups in order to thrive?



Image source
Don't resist it, let it all out!!!

Wordless Wednesday Post: Get a Sense of Integrity

Things often become imbalanced in life: your workload, your stress level, your workout routine, your priorities, your relationships and it weighs you down....

Source

And even when it does become imbalanced, and your back aches, your head aches, your heart aches or your mind aches-- we always have a choice of how to react, it's called free will. So weigh your options wisely:

Source

And always uphold your integrity! Even when people don't like it...



Source

Because:

Source

Source



So keep JAMmin CLE, because when you keep your sense of integrity you

Source



Let Your Guardians Guide You!

Today is a significantly challenging day for many reasons, and I contemplated this before writing it. But, in an effort to stay true to the mission of my blog to KEEP POSITIVE, I'd like to CELEBRATE the people who are NO LONGER WITH US.

As a good lil Catholic gal, today marks the Feast of the Guardian Angels. Now, for people who are not Catholic--please feel free to insert your preferred word. I'd like to share a little story with you about my awesome Guardian Angel (guider, protector, voice of reason, motivation, insert here.) Her name is Maggie. And she is magnificent!!! My Mom told me this morning that it's Guardian Angel Day today and that she'd pray for my Guardian Angel to remove the dark cloud that has been hanging over me.

Source

Maggie first came into my life when I was merely 6 months old. She was one of my Mom's college students and had been begging since I was born to let her babysit. Maggie took several of my Mom's classes and she took a liking to her. Maggie was a bit of an adventureous spirit and after persistent pleading, and a need for a sitter while working full-time, my Mom agreed to trying out Maggie as a babysitter. It turned out to be one of the best decisions my Mom ever made!

my Mom and Maggie circa 1990
 

Me channeling my inner "Maggie" on my college graduation day!
Couldn't have made it without her!

Maggie was by far the most positive, adventureous, fun-spirited, hilarious, curious, and compassionate human being I ever had the pleasure to know. She'd take my sister and I on "wild goose chases" in the car, taught me how to ride a bike, how to ride a skateboard, to be my own person and so much more. She had the ability to make you feel like a rockstar and like you could take on the world.

Maggie's famous mantra she taught me, "I'm a big brave dog, I'm a big brave dog..."
Source

She was pursuing her Ph.D. in History and was in the process of interviewing Holocaust survivors to tell their stories in the community. I think I was the only third grader who could give a synopsis of WWII and knew entirely too much about Hitler. That was the awesome thing about Maggie though.

Source

From such a horrible and tragic event in history, she could turn it into an opportunity to learn and show compassion to others. Maggie faced many battles of her own, but never once complained or showed self-pity. She had extraordinary empathy for other people and gave voice to their untold stories.  Her respect for people of all walks of life made her accepted far and wide in the community. She had the ability to find the good and pull it out of you.

Source

She tremendously impacted me as a youngster and I am forever grateful that she helped shape my life. Just a week before my 9th birthday, she passed away suddenly from complications from untreated diabetes. She was only 27. Our family was obviously deeply affected by her death and we certainly still miss her. But her legacy of tolerance, lifting others up, persistence, compassion, and zest for life live on. Shortly after her death, my Mom was informed that Maggie had plans for establishing a "Tolerance Resource Center" at the college.

Source

In an effort to follow Maggie's mission of finding the goodness in a dismal situation and a lesson of tolerance--my incredible Mom, along with the help of other faculty members, founded the Tolerance Resource Center at Notre Dame College on November 16, 1997, less than a year and a half after Maggie's death. Over the past 15 years the center has held several cultural, religious, racial and tolerance based events to raise awareness and promote peace within our community. The Abrahamic Center, as it is now known today, still hosts several educational programs and exhibits to foster the positive mission of tolerance.

Source

 

So despite a challenging situation I find myself in today, and even though it may be difficult to see the happiness in it, I choose to have faith in the good. Although that path may not quite be revealed to me yet, I trust my wonderful Guardian Angel, Maggie, to guide me and push me towards pulling the goodness out of this situation. Respect others and their choices. Perspective. Sometimes, all you can do is turn your problems over to some Higher Power. The clouds will open up soon, and I celebrate the ones I love in my life who are no longer with me. Always in my heart.

Source



YP Pantry, Pizza for the Soul, Aurora Farms Shopping Spree, & Predicting My Future with Turkish Coffee Grounds

 

I kicked off my weekend a tad early on Thursday night at our first (and SELL-OUT!) social event of YP Pantry. I am a council member of the newly formed Young Professionals group that focuses on the Cleveland Foodbank mission and engaging young CLE professionals in nutrition, community giving and networking.


The event took place at the Grovewood Tavern (ah-dorable). We had an awesome turn out of people and I met old friends and new ones there too.


IRL meeting with friends, yay! Crystal of Eat*Drink*Cleveland and Katrina of BiteBuff

Considering I've only been blogging for under a year--I was astounded and humbled when I (finally) met some friends in real life who recognized me from my blog! What a terrific feeling of connecting with my readers and fellow bloggers in real life--and all for a good cause!

YP Council Member and fellow blogger, Amanda of ClueIntoCleveland, Sarah of CookerGirl, me, Crystal of Eat*Drink*Cleveland, Julie of WearingMascara, and Katrina of BiteBuff

Friday rolled around and I stopped over my bff, Catie's house. Not only is she an awesome friend, but she is also an OUTSTANDING cook! Her trade by day is a nutritionist and it surely shows in her ability to whip up the healthiest version of a fresh pizza. Yummm.

Chef Catie approved!
 

Freshly made whole wheat pizza dough, artichokes, fresh basil from her garden, garlic, black olives, and fresh broccoli. Deeeeelish! 

Gabbing with your besties (Catie & Jules) while eating homemade pizza, glass of vino, and decompressing is some serious nourishment for the soul!

 

C'est la vie!!

I also scooped up some sweet dollar deals from The Exchange, and provided some reminiscent tunes from our high school days for the evening! Totally JAMmin!

Clockwise from top left: Romeo Must Die Soundtrack, No Doubt, Incubus, The Allman Brothers, Phish.
Good times!

After dinner, I headed back to Lakewood to meet up with fellow sister duo, Stacy and Kelly. We decided to try out the Brother's Lounge based on other's recommendations despite never going there before ourselves.

"It's whatever. It's a hair flip!
Happiness is only a hair flip away!"

It was an eclectic crowd of people along with a live band playing. Think we would have experienced a much different evening had there been a different band playing. Maybe not. Either way--we had a good goofy girls night time...and had the pleasure of meeting this interesting fellow:

Nuff said.

Saturday morning arrived quickly. And I headed out to do some retail therapy with my mom and sis at Aurora Farms. It was a gorgeous fall day and I was totally in the mood to add some snuggly fall apparel to my wardrobe. I love fall fashion!!!!

Birds of a feather, shop together!
At Aurora Farms

The three of us always have a blast shopping together & haven't gone in far too long. Who will snag the best deal!?! Well I scored: 2 fall sweaters, 1 versatile jacket, 2 dressy work tops, a pair of flats, and a bracelet for...$150.00!!! Wooo! My best deal was a to-die-for swing two toned jacket from the Banana Republic outlet. Originally $120.00 for $35.00! Don't mind if I do, Banana.

After our afternoon of power shopping, we decided to take it easy. My sis and I headed over to her bf's (Danny) family's house. His family is so sweet and genuine. His Mom, Noha, cooked up a feast of Lebanese food (we all know my love for Mideastern food!!!) including baby eggplant, stuffed with beef and spices, served over rice,  Man, I am so lucky to have such great cooks in my life :)

From left to right: Noha the multi-faceted woman (Danny and Gizelle's mom, phenomenal cook, and coffee ground reader,) me, Danielle, my sis, Gizelle, and Mrs. K with our coffee cup fortunes

After dinner, Noha made Turkish coffee for everyone out of these outrageously cool golden cups straight from Egypt. (I WILL get there someday!)

 

G sipping her Turkish coffee

 We had so much fun together. Gizelle, Danny's sister, asked her mom to "read our Turkish coffee grounds." I had never heard of this tradition before--but it is SO COOL! It's a Mideastern tradition specific to Turkish coffee that allows you to "read your future, by examing the images and shapes left in your coffee grounds." After drinking your cup, you flip it over, and wait for the grounds to dry. Then someone trained in the tradition (Noha, in this instance) uses the coffee grounds as a method of fortune telling by determining images in the grounds.

Noha reading the grounds

Us girls were all for the good fun and decided to do it. Results: shivering, baffling, and spot-on! Laughter, tears and hopefulness.

Coffee ground reading
Mine is the far left cup
 

So what did Noha see in my grounds? That I am going through a period of sadness and turmoil, but based one the whiteness on the top of my cup--the period will pass and open up to peace soon. Also, saw Jesus. I was ready to stop right there--pretty tough to beat that one! Lord knows I have been praying! And it surely brought me comfort. Then she saw this:

 



Two roosters in my cup. Top left hand side. That is a symbol of two similarly stubborn people who are fighting or ready to battle. Not good. And in the middle--a tall, dark, handsome man extending his arms to comfort me. Wowzer. But--I will turn away towards something better for myself. Pretty crazy. It was all in good fun though, and all open for interpretation. I am usually not into that kind of stuff, but Noha seemed to be pretty accurate with each of our readings and we definitely had a good time doing it. What a great evening and entertaining hostess! I love the opportunity to learn about other cultures, food and try new things! Be open!

Today, I really kept it low-key...and think I am beginning to battle the flu bug everyone has had. Bummer, but I am so happy for all the nourishment and love and new experiences I had in CLE this weekend. What did you do? Have you ever scored big at Aurora Farms? Has anyone ever read your coffee grounds or told you your fortune? How did it turn out? Keep JAMmin, CLE!

Monday Meditation: I Choose!

Source

Let me share with you a little something that I think we all struggle with all too often: I HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE MY DECISIONS! Yes, reread that last sentence again. I choose to make positive choices, others choose self-destruction. I choose to tell the truth, while others choose to deceive. I choose to slow down and watch a beautiful sunset, others choose to lose themselves in the daily grind. Life is ALWAYS about the choices YOU make. This is THE only choice you DO have CONTROL over.

I often CHOOSE to take on the role of "caregiver, problem-solver, free therapist" etc. I choose to expend my energy by helping others--and sometimes, others don't choose to respond with empathy, gratitude or integrity. Believe me, I am certainly not claiming to be a saint, since often the first response that runs through my mind when someone disappoints me or hurts me is usually somewhere along the lines of, WOW:

We are keeping it real here, ok? We get hurt because we choose to invest the power in something or someone else. We hand over our self-loyalty and let something or someone choose FOR us. Best realization I've learned over the years--CHOOSE YOURSELF!

Whether you're choosing to fulfill an addiction to an image, drugs, alcohol, food, love, worry, friends, money, or shiney things means YOU are NOT choosing--you are letting other things choose FOR you. Stop! CHOOSE YOURSELF!

Source

Perfect learned experience: I once had a mentor. A good mentor. One day I shared that as a young motivated professional, my goal was to be a leader AND obtain a master's degree in 5 years. Thinking this would be a good CHOICE, I was greeted with hostility and a barage of overwhelming negativity from someone I deemed as admirable. Stunned, crushed, and manipulated. It would have been easy to believe this mentor's choice FOR ME. But after reevaluating the situation, I realized this IS MY CHOICE. So, I moved on, found a better fit and am happy to say I am taking the steps towards civic-engagement AND a higher education. Boo-ya!*

 

Another learned experience: One of my best friends in college was diagnosed with a devestating mental illness.** He was suddenly deeply misunderstood by our friends and became more withdrawn as his health deteriorated. (Again, I'm not a savior here, nor a doctor, but I did grow up with a Dad as a therapist so I had a better knowledge of the disease as opposed to fear and judgment some people expressed towards him). In June 2010, my dear friend unforunately chose to take his own life. Tragic. Heart-breaking. Preventable. Upon hearing the news, I organized a get-together of friends. His favorite college pasttime was "Sunday Night Family Dinners" where a group of good friends got together, cooked a potluck and watched HBO. Deeming it as my own way to grieve, and feeling this is the way he'd surely want me to remember him in a positive light, as opposed to going to his funeral and remembering him as sick, some other people felt the need to express their discontent with MY choice. Please note while experiencing deep grief: the choice to grieve in your own way--is a PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE CHOICE. Rumors spread that someone said I was a "bad friend" and of all people was expected to and should have attended the funeral. Really? Are we in 5th grade here? We all feel terrible enough losing a loved one, and here you go put on your judgey-pants pointing the finger. How is this helping? Wooo-weee.

Source

 

It's not easy! It took me several months to "hug those haters," coupled with multiple panic attacks and some serious soul-searching, and awesome supportive family to finally get back on my feet. I struggled with this alarming and inaccurate characterization of me, compounded with the loss of a dear friend. Here's what I learned. I CHOOSE my own way to honor the life of a loved one. I CHOOSE my own integrity. I can NOT choose how others portray me. Besides, I know he's still got my back and is smiling down on me :)

Look at that contagious smile!!! :)
 

   

 We can not CHOOSE the family we are born into, whether or not we have a disease, who lives and who doesn't. So my CLE readers, I choose you-- to share, to develop, to grow, to write and to express. Thanks for choosing me too! A positive attitude IS a choice that you have control of! How you respond to life's unexpected events IS a choice. How will YOU choose to live your life? Choose wisely today, CLE! You ARE good enough! Love you and keep JAMmin!

*(Later on, I found out this person reacted in such a manner, not because I could NOT do it, or wasn't capable, or qualified but because I COULD do it, and this person--did NOT obtain a bachelor's degree. Is there anything wrong with that life choice? Absolutely not. I know several brilliant people without a college degree--but the CHOICE to attempt to destroy another person's dreams because you did not achieve your own IS a BAD choice. I choose to invest in myself, my career and my education. I choose MY future.)

**Mental illness is NOT a choice. How you cope with it is. If you or someone you know needs help--you are NOT alone. Please--choose to talk to an experienced professional, click here to find out how to get help TODAY. Or learn how to donate to the Dominique Fischer Memorial Foundation.