Hi there! Well the month of May was officially b-a-n-a-n-a-s. A fierce sprint through chaos and unexpected changes.
Have I been preoccupied? Yes. Have I questioned the future? Yes. Have I felt a zillion emotions but don't feel like spilling it out to everyone? Yes. Do I believe everything will work itself out? Yes. Do I love my life? Yes. Do I trust in the journey? Yes.
But here's the part I struggle with: the uncertainty that envelopes change and then sitting with that ambivalence. Whether it's the uncertainty of a job, a meeting, a move, a diagnosis, a phone call, a child, a loved one, an announcement, a nuptial, an outcome. Life presents so many opportunities to invoke that unsettling feeling of worry in NOT knowing what to expect, no matter how diligently we try to plan it. Everyone can relate to that exhaustion of trying to nail down jello.
Can you blame a gal? It's tough to sit with the unsolved (hence the mega-hit show, Unsolved Mysteries). And well, I'm only (an event-planning, organized, worried, empathetic, control-freak) human. That's when it finally hit me........ I am ONLY human. As much as try to plan, research, organize, worry, empathize and control life... I can't! It's extraordinarily humbling and challenging to let go of control and embrace the chaos of changes that life throws you.
Reread that. As I've turned inward the past few weeks, I've found comfort in the notion that there IS a bigger plan unfolding right before me. I am being taken care of and have so much to look forward to. I may not know exactly how things will go, but I've got to trust I am exactly where I am supposed to be on my journey. And wrap myself up in self-love. The chaos is leading to some beautiful change. Let the path reveal itself. And breathe.
How do you let go of control? How do you cope with bad news? What do you do when you feel uncertain about change(s)? Do you believe in a "higher" or "greater" life plan? Are you a planner or fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants person?
Do you ever one of those days/weeks/years where it seems to be one challenge after the next? Yep, we've all experienced that feeling! I had a few instances recently of gravity punctured by lightness. What a difference it makes to pause and bask during the moments of lightness.
I was having a deep conversation with someone about eating and nutrition habits for IBD. I suggested "to avoid all dairy products, including eggs." ....Where is that food pyramid from grade school again? ... Well, evidently eggs are categorized as dairy in my book. My silly slip up prompted a belly laugh for both of us and an ongoing joke that helps break up the challenges of combating stomach issues. Hey...
What I'm saying is, don't take yourself so seriously. Life is full of serious challenges, so relish in the moments you can laugh at yourself, at mistakes, at fear, at frustration, at adulthood.
Lighting up the laughter with some glow in the dark/neon glasses :)
Get a good laugh in when you're physically exhausted too. Like this weekend, when I spent 3 hours cursing that stubborn pachysandra I tore out from the garden and cathartic relief as I beat the crap out of the shoveled mounds to shake the dirt from the roots. Pyaw! Take that!
This quote carries so much weight with all the events that have been going on in the news and in my own personal life this past week. The contrast in this quote sharply draws parallels between the seasons of change within the peaks and valleys of life.
photo by JAMinCLE
Would we appreciate the glory of a blossoming tree without enduring a seemingly endless winter? Would the yellow of the daffodils and the spring green of the grass be as vibrant without the slate gray that has painted our city this winter? Would we know the pleasant feeling of prosperity without having the sour taste of adversity? Would we count our blessings without experiencing loss or grief?
As we emerge with resilience in the face of a harsh winter or tragedy, adversity, exhaustion, etc. let's take a brief moment to acknowledge a new season of heroism, prosperity, and rejuvenation. A simple welcoming song of hope.
This Wednesday, we will usher in a new season...SPRING! The weather always proves to be unpredictable in CLE but I love this quote for Monday Meditation. Spring will finally pop its head here shortly and soon we will be trading snow squalls for thunderstorms and digging out weeds from the garden rather than digging out of snow. But we all know CLE weather is just as tempermental as the lake effect in our lives. Where will the storm hit, here, there, when, how long, how hard, how much? And on and on. It's easy to be sucked into impending storms or potential gloomy days. Well I say...
The trials and tribulations in life are inevitable and will often catch us off guard; so how do we prepare? How do we shake the winter blues and renew our hope for spring? We store up the sunshine! Focus and invest in the people and events and love in life that brighten up the seasons of your life. The real question is, when you reflect, will you be counting your rainbows or your thunderstorms?
Will you let the figurative rain of life wash away your good days? Or will you store up some sunshine to cherish on the gray days?
Whoa, mull over that quote one more time. Yes, your life is only ever now! The present moment is all we have but we live in a culture that is deeply ingrained with overstimulation, maximizing the multi-tasking mentality, and constantly trying to get ahead. Don't get me wrong--I am incredibly thankful to live in America, and better yet, CLEVELAND, but I think we often times get so wrapped up in our daily routines, appointments, events, chores, projects, etc. that we literally miss out on the entire day. I fully admit that I am guilty of this too. I am the epitome of a planner, life organizer, worrier, juggler of 10 tasks at once. So sometimes I have to step back, take a deep breath, focus, and remind myself...
Yes, the time is NOW! Full disclosure, I'm not recommending for you to lose your sense of responsibility or live a reckless life, but I am deeply encouraging you to enjoy the present, enjoy the now. Whether it's taking the time to paint my nails (not while eating breakfast, slurping down coffee, and heading out the door to work--guaranteed to smudge the crap out of them!!) sending a thoughtful surprise to my awesome family, delving into a good book with absolutely no distractions (turn off the TV and shut the door), having a great conversation with someone face to face (not checking the cell phone or planning my response!) or just appreciating a beautiful sunrise/sunset to its fullest extent...please remember that:
Focus on the task and moment of now. Be fully present and appreciate the simple moments in your day. Take the time to show up, show up for yourself, and show up for the now..because that's really all you have. The next moment is NOT more important than this, savor the now...
Happy Monday, MLK Day, and Presidential Inauguration! I absolutely LOVE this MLK quote and could not agree more. At times, when I struggle to focus my energy towards positivity, this quote serves as a great reminder for me. Dwelling in the negative, accepting the status quo, or remaining in a rut will not promote productivity, passion, or peace. Period. When we grieve from loss in our personal life, or mourn as a nation from violence in our schools, we must seek the light from within to drive out darkness. Otherwise, "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Sharpen your focus-- on healing, love, light, compassion, and progress. Move forward, with light and love. So with this Monday Meditation, what drives your future? Lead wisely.
"One of my aims in life is to constantly feel the S T R E T C H. Not to get too comfortable. To feel a little uneasy, not as punishment, but as growth. It is the dedication to learning, the dedication to growth and the dedication to living slightly uncomfortably that brings the magic in life. This is how it is for anyone who achieves at the highest level. Keep stretching!" -Mastin Kipp
I posted this awesome quote on my Facebook last week, and I feel like it sums up my 2012 pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good! I started off 2012 comfortably without a clue how things would shake up or shake out in the 12 months to come. To be honest, I didn't really have ANY of these changes planned--but this year has surely been an adventure! Here's how the big changes stacked up:
Hold on tight! It's going to be an adventure!!! Image source
25 years I celebrated life (I can now say I am a quarter century old, how fancy)
3 homes/moves (life throws you curveballs, but I am happy to be a West Sider again!)
2 trips to the West Coast (San Fran and Seattle)
1 trip to the East Coast (DC with Marie!)
1 year of blogging! (oh the friends and adventures I've had along the way!)
1 major career move (looooove my new job!)
1 new car (finally laid Percy to rest! And purchased my first car)
Whew those are some major big girl changes! When I look back and reflect on the year, I can't believe how many unexpected events and experiences cropped up--but that's exactly it, someone with a Greater Plan decided to shake things up for me. Did I have to step outside of my comfort zone in ways I never imagined? You bet! Did I grow and become a better and stronger woman for it? ABSOLUTELY! I stretched, and overcame, and put myself out there. and created a more beautiful life by choosing to focus on the positives!
Your journey is unfoulding exactly as it should be!
Professional S T R E T C H I left my first job I had from right out of college, only to be greeted by a tremendous team of supportive, hard-working, women who have grown to be an extension of family. Making a career move is certainly new, uneasy, and different--but it's often in that stretch that we grow exponentially! I am grateful for the opportunities I had during my first 3 years as a working professional and the lovely people who helped me along the way. In my new position, I have met so many wonderful people while networking and have such awesome mentors and encouraging women who want me to succeed in my career. 2013 I will begin my SEO training (*marketing nerd out moment*) and could just squeal I am so excited to take on that challenge! I am one lucky lady to have landed with my company and team of great people!
My office all decked out by my co-workers on my 25th birthday :)
Travel S T R E T C H I was extremely fortunate to be able to travel so much this year. I ventured out to the West Coast twice to visit my favorite cousins, once in San Fran (read my recap here) and once in Seattle (I am halfway through the recap post, I got distracted during the holidays, but stay posted it IS coming!)
Both trips were amazing, for different reasons, but I certainly dig the Northern Cal and Pacific Northwest relaxed vibe--smart people, fresh organic food, good wine and brew pubs, gorgeous natural beauty, and progressive thinking.
Marie's niece, Stella, giving me a big DC welcome!!! What a cutie pie!!!
I also hit up DC over Labor Day weekend for a reunion with my college gal pal, Marie. She showed me her new city (always a CLE girl at heart though!) and the sites and her family welcomed me with open arms. We had a blast and Marie ALWAYS knows how to make a girl laugh :)
My 2013 travel plans? ABROAD! It's my New Year's Resolution, and my thoughtful sister gave me a jump start with my Christmas gift and gave me the passport application and adorable passport cover booklet to remind me of my goals. Turkey here I come!
I really came into my own this year through my blogging efforts. I got back into the habit of writing and my mind and creativity are swirling with juices--NO MORE BRAIN DRAIN! Through this commitment to writing, and sharing my stories and experiences, and positive outlook on CLE, my entire world has opened up. Was it scary to put myself out there? At times, certainly! Was it a little uncomfortable at first to go to events by myself? Of course. But the experiences I had and people I have met through blogging have been incredible. By stretching and putting myself in new circumstances and going to events on my own, the rewards and happiness only sky-rocketed! I am eternally grateful to my CLE Believers who have stuck with me over the past year and taken the positive journey with me through my JAMinCLE blogging adventure! You guys ROCK!!!!
Personal S T R E T C H
I never came right out and wrote about it, but I am sure my dedicated readers and friends have put 2 and 2 together and figured out I had a lot of personal changes this year too. After 3 1/2 years of being with my boyfriend and 1 1/2 of living together, I decided to move back home with my parents in August. Living back at home with the roomies at 25 is certainly something I never anticipated after being on my own since 20. But, that's what family is for, to help you grow and stretch and love you through any change. Sure, everyone wants to give you their unsolicited 2 cents while going through a breakup--but thankfully my family and friends have supported all of my decisions and encouraged me along every step. I stretched, and grew, focused on myself, and took better care of myself rather than always trying to take care of someone else.
I saved up money while living at home, and made my first car purchase too...wo0o0o0o0oho0o0o0! I said goodbye to my faithful Kia, Percy, and said helllllo to my new Nissan Rogue (name is still pending...)
The most important thing I learned from stepping into the uneasy and making these "big girl decisions"--was how incredibly resilient I am! That dedication to growth, and learning, and development is where the magic really happens!
So my lovely CLE Believers, I look forward to kissing 2012 goodbye and stretching into 2013! May your year be productive, adventurous, positive, and happy! Embrace the change, and keep S T R E T C H I N G! Life is too short not to JAM! xoxo
Isn't it strange how it often takes a trip away from home to reframe your perspective? When we open ourselves up to new adventures, travels, experiences, cities and ways of life we begin to ask new questions and find answers to old ones. The incite of wonder provokes us to wander into new territory...reflective soul territory. I like to call my inner JAM. "Dwell in possibility," as my homegirl Emily Dickinson says.
So, I encourage you to reflect on the combined power of wonder/wander. Go out and explore, see the world with fresh eyes, create new beginnings and make new endings. Whether you wander down your street, an unexplored neighborhood, a different state, another coast, or a foreign country--open yourself to new wonders. Get lost in the everyday magic of your life and adventure!
Make a wish, let the wind blow, and never stop wondering and wandering!
This quote has really resonated with me recently. As a young adult, we sometimes get caught up in a sense of image or deny our authentic self. However, the more we deny/ignore/resist a certain aspect of ourselves because it is uncomfortable/scary/deep--the more it persists and manifests in other aspects of our life. It's kind of like that smashing game you played as a kid, as soon as you think you bopped that creature on the head and pushed him back in...sure enough, he sneaks back out and pops up in another place!
90s kids game shoutout...cmon you know you and all your friends played it at Chuck E Cheese! I sure did! Image source
I see this happening so often amongst my friends, young people, Clevelanders, Americans, and society in general. I've even found myself in the place at times too. The trick to the ego-game is to not let your flaws define you, and to simply acknowledge it, embrace it, and accept it. We are so focused on resisting a facet of ourselves we do not accept, that in "ignoring" it, it actually persists, permeates, and pepetuates into many seeping aspects of our lives...
Yes, Jess, yes--BTW I LOVVVVVE "New Girl" another awesomely quirky Jess to add to the list! Image source
Love your flaws, quirks. neuroses, immune health, diagnoses, fat belly, empty pockets, low scores, loud voice, high emotion, off-key notes, and whatever else you are afraid to admit to yourself. Accept it in order to finally let it go, because the more you resist, the more it persists. It's just one small aspect of yourself--that you are allowing to take over by ignoring it. Ever try to go to sleep with a mosquito in your room? That lil guy can turn into a huge problem-- try to ignore it, and those itchy bloodsucking bites will be there when you wake up, letting its presence be known!
So my CLE Believers, how can you let go today? What areas of your life are persistently challenging? How can you love all aspects of yourself--flaws and all? How are you overcoming your obstacles and hang-ups in order to thrive?
"My old dream was self-centered; my new dream is service oriented. And the baseline of this sounds cheesy, but it is gratitude. That's right. Simple gratitude. When I find that I focus on what I'm grateful for, the things I already have, the glorious and healthy body in which I reside, life opens."
In light of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I want to focus on GRATITUDE. This quote from Mastin Kipp (if you haven't already signed up to receive his Daily Digest...what are you waiting for?!) is awesome and he always keeps it real. Recently, I was keepin it real with one of my gal pals, T.A. about things we were grateful for...whenever anyone asks you this question of thankfulness, gratitude, counting blessings (especially around the holidays) everyone seems to give the same standard answers which probably look something along the lines of this:
But these are GIVENS! These are the wonderful foundations we often take for granted. So, we are all grateful for these standards, let's dig deeper! Why are we grateful for family? What makes them so special? How has good health truly impacted your life? Take a moment today to slow down and quantify and glorify these gifts into the daily encounters they are. The little things that I REAAAALLY appreciate, actually add up to the BIG things, called LIFE!
So here are my top 5 specific things I am grateful for today, and that continue to open up my life everyday.
1) Hula hooping. Yeah, betcha didn't see that one coming! My mom recently introduced me to the workout of hula hooping, believe me, I laughed, just as you probably are right now. It's completely ridiculous and an activity most of us haven't attempted since we were little rugrats. You feel awkward, silly, and over the top....and it's totally awesome, plus a FABULOUS core work out!!! Definitely recommend getting back in touch with your health and fitness in a fun and light way. It will make you appreciate the fact that working out doesn't always have to suck, you can slim down your belly and hips as you swivel to some jams, and help release your pent up frustrations after a stressful work day! Check out Gabby Bernstein's book: Add More ~ing to Your Life for other suggestions of how to add more action and happiness to your life (Thanks for the recommendation, Allison!)
Proof, hooping makes you laugh and your body feel good
2) My sister's phenomenal cooking skills. Seriously, this girl has NEVER cooked up a bad meal before...even at 2am after a night of festivities...she's the only person I know that will not only insist you eat a good "snack" before bed...but she turns it into a gourmet creation... she's not gonna zap something in the microwave for you. No, she goes all out to make a tasty surprise--like the fresh thick toasted sandwich with mortadella, cheddar and spinach she just popped in the broiler for me during the wee hours of Sunday morning. She serves up dishes, snacks, sammies--you name it, straight from the heart. Her thoughtfulness to serve a good meal to her loved ones at any time of the day or night fills me up, but also nourishes the spirit. Best.Sister/Cook.EVER.
3) Being included in friends' big life events. Okay, we already know we're all thankful for our friends. But what about pulling off the surprise of a lifetime...and witness the shock and elation on your gal pal's face as she walks in after accepting a surprise proposal from the man of her dreams, to be greeted by her friends & family waiting for her. Yes! This weekend my good friends Julie & Ryan got engaged, and we were all so thrilled to be included as part of the special occasion. All those nights of hanging out with them and witnessing the sparks lead to what we had all been rooting for--a spectacular engagement between two hilarious and genuinely great human beings! So thankful I got to share in part of this new chapter of your lives!
Congrats Ryan & Julie!!
"Bling bling!"
Supppper jazzed for Julie! Congrats lady!!!
4) Sweet finds at Marshall's that make you stop and say, "Wow, Marshall's, sh*t just got real. Thank you." I discovered this gem while recently perusing the aisles of Marshall's. It pretty much jumped off the shelf and smacked me upside the head. I needed it--figuratively and literally. The past few months have certainly been shaken up and very challenging in some aspects of my life. And yet, simultaneuously--it's terrific, and life is opening up in ways I never imagined either. Even when things don't go according to the original plan, there is always a much BETTER and BIGGER plan that's unfolding and gently guiding you without you even knowing it! As Mastin put it "my old dream was self-centered; my new dream is service oriented." Life suddenly becomes way more rich when you come to the realization that "Your journey is unfolding exactly as it should be!"
5) Meeting new great people in Cleveland at events that benefit our city and its residents. This past weekend, I participated in our YP Pantry "Give Thanks" event at a local church. We distributed a hot meal, canned food, to-go food, fresh produce, and some well wishes to people who've fallen down on their luck. My job was to help make 70+ bagged peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We then helped serve nearly a 100 people hot meals. The pastor of the church informed us that despite distributing food 4 times a month for the past 18 years, they only had the opportunity to SERVE meals to guests twice, the other times people had to stand in line and wait for a plate. People were so thankful and appreciative to have someone serve them at a table setting. It was a truly humbling experience, not only was I thankful that I've never experienced the burden of worrying about where my next hot meal is coming from, but also because it validated the fact that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Everyone!
So, what are your top 5 thankful thoughts for today? Daily acts of service, faith, inclusion, health and fitness contribute to our overall well-being. Break down the clichés, get to the nitty-gritty things that help you grind through the day, and take time this week to say THANK YOU for all the little things that really make a BIG difference in our lives!
Here's a final sendoff...of JESSICA'S daily affirmations. LOVE it! (Thanks, T.A. for getting me hip to the other thankful Jessica!)
"The flowers have grown and now are past full bloom. The bright rays of the summer sun now promise to begin to soften to the gentleness of the coming fall.
As we begin these comfortable routines of autumn and often anguish at the end of summer, it is also a time for us to take stock and reflect on how well our lives have mirrored the Life of Christ over these months of summer. It is a time to ask of ourselves if our lives have shown the fullness of our faith over the months of summer. We take time now to ask if we have we grown and nourished our relationships.
Photo by JAMinCLE
In the coming weeks and months as we progress into autumn it should be a reminder that as much as this season is one of transition, we can allow the spirituality of the fall to touch our lives and show us once more a renewed walk with the Light. As nature is in flux, so too are our lives. The fall can be a surprise of beauty and show us in brilliant color the wonder of nature. If we take the time, in this season, and truly listen to the whisper of grace in our lives, we can also be open to the change and surprise that God offers us each day. To know the renewed wonder His love offers us daily. We have but to open our eyes to the beauty of it all. If we can see the coming color of the autumn leaves, then be sure to take time to see and feel the burst of Christ’s continued grace in our lives."
-From the Desk of the Pastor
Rev. Anthony Wm. Morris
This beautiful Monday Meditation is brought to you by my very own Uncle! So cool and I love the imagery! Although he doesn't live nearby, I've had the opportunity to share several special occasions in my childhood and spiritual life with him. He's been able to overcome some serious life challenges himself--and is incredibly RESILIENT! He recently sent me this wonderful reflection and it came at such an integral time!
Yesterday it was 75 degrees and sunny...today it's 50 and dreary, but that's Cleveland for you--the weather is always in flux. That's my favorite line in this meditation, "As nature is in flux, so too are our lives." I've had people say to me recently--how do you ALWAYS stay so positive even when things aren't going well? Well the truth is, I struggle too. EVERYONE does! The seasons change, our moods change, our lives change. The wind blows, the clouds roll in, the clouds clear, the sun peaks through again. It's PART OF LIFE! In order to feel joy, we have to know pain. In order to move towards the light, we've had to experience darkness. The more we resist change, the more we suffer. So...face it...and EMBRACE IT! Nobody--and I repeat nobody is in a constant state of positivity, happiness, or season of summer. It's something you have to choose to commit to work on each day. To recognize the little joys and appreciate the changes in life. To choose to recognize the beauty and FOCUS on the positive as opposed to dreading and dwelling on an uncontrollable change.
Fall Sunset
Photo by JAMinCLE
To be honest, as much as I don't like the CLE winters, I am actually grateful for them because it makes me appreciate the other 3 seasons THAT much more since I know they are fleeting. So how will you change with the seasons? How will you embrace the graces of a new season? How will you choose to open your eyes to environmental changes in a positive light? Have you stored up enough sunshine to get you through the winter months? What's your favorite thing that only happens during fall? Embrace each season and life change as they come and choose to focus on the positive graces. Enjoy it while it lasts--because life and CLE weather are always in flux!
