Monday Meditation: It Takes Chaos

Hi there! Well the month of May was officially b-a-n-a-n-a-s. A fierce sprint through chaos and unexpected changes.

Have I been preoccupied? Yes. Have I questioned the future? Yes. Have I felt a zillion emotions but don't feel like spilling it out to everyone? Yes. Do I believe everything will work itself out? Yes. Do I love my life? Yes. Do I trust in the journey? Yes.

But here's the part I struggle with: the uncertainty that envelopes change and then sitting with that ambivalence. Whether it's the uncertainty of a job, a meeting, a move, a diagnosis, a phone call, a child, a loved one, an announcement, a nuptial, an outcome. Life presents so many opportunities to invoke that unsettling feeling of worry in NOT knowing what to expect, no matter how diligently we try to plan it. Everyone can relate to that exhaustion of trying to nail down jello.

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Can you blame a gal? It's tough to sit with the unsolved (hence the mega-hit show, Unsolved Mysteries). And well, I'm only (an event-planning, organized, worried, empathetic, control-freak) human. That's when it finally hit me........ I am ONLY human. As much as try to plan, research, organize, worry, empathize and control life... I can't! It's extraordinarily humbling and challenging to let go of control and embrace the chaos of changes that life throws you.

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Reread that. As I've turned inward the past few weeks, I've found comfort in the notion that there IS a bigger plan unfolding right before me. I am being taken care of and have so much to look forward to. I may not know exactly how things will go, but I've got to trust I am exactly where I am supposed to be on my journey. And wrap myself up in self-love. The chaos is leading to some beautiful change. Let the path reveal itself. And breathe.

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How do you let go of control? How do you cope with bad news? What do you do when you feel uncertain about change(s)? Do you believe in a "higher" or "greater" life plan? Are you a planner or fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants person?

Lots of love, stay positive and keep JAMmin!

Monday Meditation: Laughter & Lightness



Do you ever one of those days/weeks/years where it seems to be one challenge after the next? Yep, we've all experienced that feeling! I had a few instances recently of gravity punctured by lightness. What a difference it makes to pause and bask during the moments of lightness.

 

I was having a deep conversation with someone about eating and nutrition habits for IBD. I suggested "to avoid all dairy products, including eggs." ....Where is that food pyramid from grade school again? ... Well, evidently eggs are categorized as dairy in my book. My silly slip up prompted a belly laugh for both of us and an ongoing joke that helps break up the challenges of combating stomach issues. Hey...

 

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What I'm saying is, don't take yourself so seriously. Life is full of serious challenges, so relish in the moments you can laugh at yourself, at mistakes, at fear, at frustration, at adulthood.

 



Lighting up the laughter with some glow in the dark/neon glasses :)

 

Get a good laugh in when you're physically exhausted too. Like this weekend, when I spent 3 hours cursing that stubborn pachysandra I tore out from the garden and cathartic relief as I beat the crap out of the shoveled mounds to shake the dirt from the roots. Pyaw! Take that!

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So whether it's a heavy situation with health, work, family, life, or even gardening--be sure to counter it with some laughter and lightness!

 

Monday Meditation: Motion vs. Action

 

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Like a hamster spinning on a wheel, some people go round and round but don't seem to get anywhere. It sounds like a great plan but it never seems to go anywhere. Sound familiar? I've certainly fallen into this trap before! Since my birthday last June, I really wanted needed to lose weight. After getting into the routine of an 8-5 job behind the desk, falling out of the routine of being active, and facing a slowing metabolism, I packed on 20 lbs. after graduating college. Yeeps! I didn't feel good about myself or my body. I was going through the MOTIONS rather than taking ACTION. I'd say I was going to get back in shape, plan for next time I'd have the energy, or I'd complain about how my clothes were feeling snug, but I wasn't really doing anything about it. Eating healthy is often a challenge as a young adult, just as it is to make time to work out. It takes planning AND acting on it. Replacing motion with a deliverable action.



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Well, I am happy to say I got MOVING! I've lost 12 lbs. in the past 9 months... also thanks in part to living with people who have healthy eating habits (vegan) and a great workplace that supports wellness (just installed a gym in our office building). I finally put my "plan" into ACTON! It feels awesome!

 

 My action goal is to lose another 5 lbs. before summer.  

 

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Where do you find yourself "planning" in life but aren't taking actions towards your goal? What's holding you back from turning that perpetual spin cycle into momentum that will propel you into action? How can you carry the weight of your actions, not just your words? What's your action goal?

Monday Meditation: Welcome Spring, Savor the Sunshine

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This Wednesday, we will usher in a new season...SPRING! The weather always proves to be unpredictable in CLE but I love this quote for Monday Meditation. Spring will finally pop its head here shortly and soon we will be trading snow squalls for thunderstorms and digging out weeds from the garden rather than digging out of snow. But we all know CLE weather is just as tempermental as the lake effect in our lives. Where will the storm hit, here, there, when, how long, how hard, how much? And on and on. It's easy to be sucked into impending storms or potential gloomy days. Well I say...

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The trials and tribulations in life are inevitable and will often catch us off guard; so how do we prepare? How do we shake the winter blues and renew our hope for spring? We store up the sunshine! Focus and invest in the people and events and love in life that brighten up the seasons of your life. The real question is, when you reflect, will you be counting your rainbows or your thunderstorms?

Will you let the figurative rain of life wash away your good days? Or will you store up some sunshine to cherish on the gray days?


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Do you feel an internal shift when the seasons change? How do you handle bad weather? Share your thoughts!

Monday Meditation: Start Before You're Ready!

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I love this quote and philosophy. It scares the crap out of me, but I love it. I think that's the exact point... we build up these fears, hurdles, or timelines in our head about the way life is supposed to unfold. "As soon as I start saving money then I can do this, or once my schedule lightens up I can commit to working out, as soon as I hit this milestone in my bank account/relationship/career/education/fitness plan, etc. I will be able to start my journey towards XYZ goal." Sound familiar? Ahhh, I totally admit I am guilty of this! Why? Because we love to think we have control over everything. It's very intimidating to let go, put ourselves out there and take risks without a guarantee of success. But...
 

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Now, I am not encouraging you to push yourself to your maximum capacity or disregard the consequences of your actions or start a plan to please someone else's expectations--but what I am encouraging you to reflect on is how and where you can step outside your comfort zone in your life to take one step closer toward your life goals? What actions can you begin to take "before you're ready" or how can you have faith in yourself and the world that everything will work out when you decide to take the leap?

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It begins by traveling in the direction of our fears, not away from them! Completely counter-intuitive and entirely necessary! In order to challenge ourselves and grow, we have to step outside our comfort zone to make space to grow. We have to take the risk and start before we're ready, without knowing the definitive outcome, but TRUSTING in it and our own strength. Realize this:

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So what areas of your life can you "start before you're ready?" How can you make space for expansion by stepping out of your comfort zone and into the face of fear and achieve your dreams? What small step can you take TODAY, even if you think you're not quite ready?

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Get your JAM on today :)

Monday Meditation: Give Your Soul Some Love and Be Your Self!

"Who you naturally are is FAR more inspiring than who you pretend to be. This is the fact. And what ELSE is cool is when we stop pretending to be someone and just start being ourselves, we are no longer BSing ourselves and so we actually take our power back, instead of giving it away by pretending to be perfect. And as we start to respect ourselves more, we take more action and as we take more action grounded in self-respect, really cool things start to happen and a positive cycle of momentum is created." -Mastin Kipp via The Daily Love

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I love this quote AND this visual. It really helps show the parallels and implications of choosing to listen to our EGO or our SOUL. When we are struggling or going through a period of growth it can be easy to listen to the ego: I'm not strong enough, brave enough, cool enough, beautiful enough. STOP. You ARE enough! The ego is that dark side buried in your sub-conscious that tries to convince you of negativity or self-doubt. 

I had a conversation with a girlfriend this weekend about the importance of  loving ALL aspects of yourself--the good, the bad, and the ugly...whole-heartedly...in order to give any part of yourself to another. Ah-ha!

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I struggled with this a few years ago as I suffered with severe anxiety. (I know, the social butterfly, wow!) I was going through a period of tremendous loss, change, and growth and was trying to manage my silly ego:

• I can handle this on my own, chin up, keep smiling
• People will think I am nuts if I explain what's going on
• I wish I could change what happened in the past
•  I am misunderstood/alone
•  Ego, ego, ego! 

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Everyone has their own battles, fears, or issues. It may not be anxiety or grief, but certainly everyone can relate to trying to silence a nagging ego, or trying to fit in, or denying some facet of ourselves that we wish wasn't there. But the more you resist, the more it persists!!!

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When I finally began to listen to my soul/inner JAM/true Self, my whole world began to open up!

The experience and challenge significantly changed me... for the better! It's all about what you choose to make of it, yes, make something of it! I hope by me sharing my experience will help some readers be themselves and give their souls some love and embrace the challenges they are facing!

Am I more forgiving of others now? Yes, everyone's facing a battle you may not know about! Did I learn to be grateful for each moment and appreciate my support system? Certainly, I am incredibly blessed! Do I still hear my ego? Sure, but it doesn't win when I simply listen to my authentic Self and stay present and positive!

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But most importantly I learned:

• Build on the positive and be productive
• Be true to my Self and not judge my Self so critically
• Be open and vulnerable around those I love and trust; I don't have to give everyone an explanation
• Surround my Self with those who lift me higher
• My family loves me unconditionally
• Everyone deals with loss and grief differently
• Getting help shows strength and humility!
• Be passionate about life...YOLO! I can only live in the Now
• Don't just talk about it, BE about it!
• I love ALL aspects of my Self!

So.......

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• How can you let go of your past?
• How can you be more gentle to your Self?
• Are you trying to impress others or are you being honest with your Self?
• How can you respect your body more?
• Are you listening to your ego or your authentic soul?
• Are you surrounding your Self with people who love, accept, and encourage you to be your Self?
• Are you being proactive and growing?
• Did you tell your Self today that you're awesome!

I say, give your soul some love and meditate on being your Self!

Monday Meditation: Being Present

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Whoa, mull over that quote one more time. Yes, your life is only ever now! The present moment is all we have but we live in a culture that is deeply ingrained with overstimulation, maximizing the multi-tasking mentality, and constantly trying to get ahead. Don't get me wrong--I am incredibly thankful to live in America, and better yet, CLEVELAND, but I think we often times get so wrapped up in our daily routines, appointments, events, chores, projects, etc. that we literally miss out on the entire day. I fully admit that I am guilty of this too. I am the epitome of a planner, life organizer, worrier, juggler of 10 tasks at once. So sometimes I have to step back, take a deep breath, focus, and remind myself...

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Yes, the time is NOW! Full disclosure, I'm not recommending for you to lose your sense of responsibility or live a reckless life, but I am deeply encouraging you to enjoy the present, enjoy the now. Whether it's taking the time to paint my nails (not while eating breakfast, slurping down coffee, and heading out the door to work--guaranteed to smudge the crap out of them!!) sending a thoughtful surprise to my awesome family, delving into a good book with absolutely no distractions (turn off the TV and shut the door), having a great conversation with someone face to face (not checking the cell phone or planning my response!) or just appreciating a beautiful sunrise/sunset to its fullest extent...please remember that: 


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Focus on the task and moment of now. Be fully present and appreciate the simple moments in your day.  Take the time to show up, show up for yourself, and show up for the now..because that's really all you have.  The next moment is NOT more important than this, savor the now...

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Monday Meditation: Keep Stretching 2012 a Year in Review

"One of my aims in life is to constantly feel the S T R E T C H. Not to get too comfortable. To feel a little uneasy, not as punishment, but as growth. It is the dedication to learning, the dedication to growth and the dedication to living slightly uncomfortably that brings the magic in life. This is how it is for anyone who achieves at the highest level. Keep stretching!" -Mastin Kipp

I posted this awesome quote on my Facebook last week, and I feel like it sums up my 2012 pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good! I started off 2012 comfortably without a clue how things would shake up or shake out in the 12 months to come. To be honest, I didn't really have ANY of these changes planned--but this year has surely been an adventure! Here's how the big changes stacked up:

Hold on tight! It's going to be an adventure!!!
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• 25 years I celebrated life (I can now say I am a quarter century old, how fancy)
• 3 homes/moves (life throws you curveballs, but I am happy to be a West Sider again!)
• 2 trips to the West Coast (San Fran and Seattle)
• 1 trip to the East Coast (DC with Marie!)
• 1 year of blogging! (oh the friends and adventures I've had along the way!)
• 1 major career move (looooove my new job!)
• 1 new car (finally laid Percy to rest! And purchased my first car)

Whew those are some major big girl changes! When I look back and reflect on the year, I can't believe how many unexpected events and experiences cropped up--but that's exactly it, someone with a Greater Plan decided to shake things up for me. Did I have to step outside of my comfort zone in ways I never imagined? You bet! Did I grow and become a better and stronger woman for it? ABSOLUTELY! I stretched, and overcame, and put myself out there. and created a more beautiful life by choosing to focus on the positives!

Your journey is unfoulding exactly as it should be!

Professional S T R E T C H
I left my first job I had from right out of college, only to be greeted by a tremendous team of supportive, hard-working, women who have grown to be an extension of family. Making a career move is certainly new, uneasy, and different--but it's often in that stretch that we grow exponentially! I am grateful for the opportunities I had during my first 3 years as a working professional and the lovely people who helped me along the way. In my new position, I have met so many wonderful people while networking and have such awesome mentors and encouraging women who want me to succeed in my career. 2013 I will begin my SEO training (*marketing nerd out moment*) and could just squeal I am so excited to take on that challenge! I am one lucky lady to have landed with my company and team of great people!

My office all decked out by my co-workers on my 25th birthday :)

Travel S T R E T C H
I was extremely fortunate to be able to travel so much this year. I ventured out to the West Coast twice to visit my favorite cousins, once in San Fran (read my recap here) and once in Seattle (I am halfway through the recap post, I got distracted during the holidays, but stay posted it IS coming!)

Gnarly shot I took of the Golden Gate Bridge!
from "CLE Kids in San Franny" Post

Both trips were amazing, for different reasons, but I certainly dig the Northern Cal and Pacific Northwest relaxed vibe--smart people, fresh organic food, good wine and brew pubs, gorgeous natural beauty, and progressive thinking.


Marie and I in DC!
from "10 Things I Learned in DC" Post

Marie's niece, Stella, giving me a big DC welcome!!! What a cutie pie!!!

I also hit up DC over Labor Day weekend for a reunion with my college gal pal, Marie. She showed me her new city (always a CLE girl at heart though!) and the sites and her family welcomed me with open arms. We had a blast and Marie ALWAYS knows how to make a girl laugh :)

My 2013 travel plans? ABROAD! It's my New Year's Resolution, and my thoughtful sister gave me a  jump start with my Christmas gift and gave me the passport application and adorable passport cover booklet to remind me of my goals. Turkey here I come!

Creative S T R E T C H

my favorite e.e.cummings quote, "It takes courage to grow up, and become who you really are."
from "Screw Factory Artist Open House in Lakewood" Post

I really came into my own this year through my blogging efforts. I got back into the habit of writing and my mind and creativity are swirling with juices--NO MORE BRAIN DRAIN! Through this commitment to writing, and sharing my stories and experiences, and positive outlook on CLE, my entire world has opened up. Was it scary to put myself out there? At times, certainly! Was it a little uncomfortable at first to go to events by myself? Of course. But the experiences I had and people I have met through blogging have been incredible. By stretching and putting myself in new circumstances and going to events on my own, the rewards and happiness only sky-rocketed! I am eternally grateful to my CLE Believers who have stuck with me over the past year and taken the positive journey with me through my JAMinCLE blogging adventure! You guys ROCK!!!!

Personal S T R E T C H
I never came right out and wrote about it, but I am sure my dedicated readers and friends have put 2 and 2 together and figured out I had a lot of personal changes this year too. After 3 1/2 years of being with my boyfriend and 1 1/2 of living together, I decided to move back home with my parents in August. Living back at home with the roomies at 25 is certainly something I never anticipated after being on my own since 20. But, that's what family is for, to help you grow and stretch and love you through any change. Sure, everyone wants to give you their unsolicited 2 cents while going through a breakup--but thankfully my family and friends have supported all of my decisions and encouraged me along every step. I stretched, and grew, focused on myself, and took better care of myself rather than always trying to take care of someone else.

Work it out, girl!!!



Sara and I jammin out on Just Dance
 from "Surround Yourself With Those Who Lift You Higher" Post

I saved up money while living at home, and made my first car purchase too...wo0o0o0o0oho0o0o0! I said goodbye to my faithful Kia, Percy, and said helllllo to my new Nissan Rogue (name is still pending...)

The most important thing I learned from stepping into the uneasy and making these "big girl decisions"--was how incredibly resilient I am! That dedication to growth, and learning, and development is where the magic really happens!

Remember your roots, and keep on growing!!!
From "Monday Meditation: Remember Your Roots" Post

So my lovely CLE Believers, I look forward to kissing 2012 goodbye and stretching into 2013! May your year be productive, adventurous, positive, and happy! Embrace the change, and keep S T R E T C H I N G! Life is too short not to JAM! xoxo

Happy 2013!!!!!
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Young Independent Filmmakers Making Magic Happen in CLE

There is a powerful underlying culture of young, talented, innovative and professional filmmakers and actors creating awesome projects in CLE right now. Our arts and culture scene is thriving. Although we have a collective network of arts organizations which fosters artists' growth (i.e. Cleveland Public Theatre, MOCA, Cuyahoga Arts & Culture, etc.) some of the arts have yet to establish a platform to nurture, network and help navigate the path for emerging artists/creators. Enter young independent filmmakers in CLE! They have yet to experience a network to take them in, help develop their craft, provide resources, and establish a platform to showcase these fantastic films to our comminity. Have you heard about "The Avengers" filming in CLE? I bet! How about the tax credits for big budget films to come to our city and shoot movies? Yep, probably familiar with that too! And don't get me wrong, I think it's great to offer a temporary economic boost to our region and gain notoriety by having big budget films takeover the city...but what about the spectacular artists/innovators/filmmakers making magic come to life here, everyday, on a shoe-string budget with a high caliber message, quality, vision and film that can attest to the born and bred generation of Clevelanders who are making it happen?



The wonderfully talented production team Studio on Mars
bringing you the upcoming film, THE SAMARITANS
Zach Shildwatchter, Executive Producer. Jen Poland, Director of Photography. J. Buckner, Director.

Well a wonderful opportunity recently came to fruition and I was so happy to be a part of it and share the story with you, my CLE Believers! My good buddy Justin aka J. Buckner invited me to come for a day of filming on set for a short film called THE SAMARITANS.

J. Buckner: ACTION!

This, my friends, is the type of project that puts fire in my belly. The young people who defy the odds, who commit to their dreams, who pound the pavement to build a sustainable support network of filmmakers/artists in CLE, who resist Ohio "brain drain" and commit to our region's success,  and  who truly make our city's culture and arts so dynamic.

I knew it was going to be a spectacular experience for a laundry list of reasons, but considering I have already seen his last short film, "I AM ALIVE," which was just screened as the feature film in Rock Island, Illinois last week, and as part of the Monster Mashup in Chicago a few weeks ago-- I knew the quality of film that I would witness in the making.

Yeah....AWESOME!
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Seriously, this guy and his team are too legit to quit. The short film has already gained notoriety and a post-apocalyptic following of zombie fans...so I knew a wild CLE adventure was ahead as he invited me to hang out on set for a day of filming his new film "THE SAMARITANS."

The story of "THE SAMARITANS" was written by William B Keller (Bill) of Columbus, OH. Bill originally wrote the the short film to focus on the idea of peoples' reactions during moral dilemmas by turning seemingly innocent decisions into life-impacting events. Bill has been writing for over 30 years with a long list of credentials. But 3 1/2 years ago he lost his life long partner, Jill. He said he really struggled with just giving up and had all these thoughts in his head that he just needed to get out. He knew he had to pull something positive out of the tragedy of losing his high-school sweetheart, so he based the couple in the film on him and his wife, and used that as a foundation to build the story. (BTW Bill is the SWEETEST man ever and incredibly inspiring!) He wanted to make people stop, and think about how each action has a reaction.

"THE SAMARITANS" writer, left Bill Keller pictured with his son Will

The story centers around a young couple who skip out on work to go enjoy a beautiful day at the park, when they are unexpectedly faced with an unusual situation as a man, claiming to be a priest, emerges from the woods, panic-stricken and collapses onto the couple's car begging for help...



I'm pretty sure I'd be a liiiiittle bit alarmed if I was in the car right now too..




Pictured, Eric Small as Priest, Kellen Boyle as Tom, and Samantha O'Brien as Sarah

I have to give a huge round of applause to Eric Small who played a lead role as the priest. He delivered some serious drama and emotion--take after take...meanwhile in 40 degree temperatures.. and half-clothed. He was a tremendously talented actor and demonstrated some serious commitment to his craft! More people like him on the move in CLE!



Orderlies taking action...
Pictured Mike Chastain

I then met some similarly awesome people, Mike Chastain of Akron and Pakob Jarenpone of Akron, who played the role of the orderlies. Both gentlemen served as extras during the recent filming of "The Avengers" in Cleveland and haven't looked back since. They agreed that there is the sudden churning of independent filmmakers cranking out steller productions in our city and hope to see more and be more of a part of it.

Pictured Mike Chastain, left and Pakob Jarenpone, right
majorly B.A. & would NOT want to mess with these guys!

When I asked J. Buckner his opinion on why Cleveland is a great place to make and film movies he responded, "There is not as much red tape here compared to places like NYC or LA. People in Cleveland think it's cool when they see someone out filming, rather than as an inconvenience or passé, like a film shooting on the streets of NYC. We have four beautiful seasons here and every shot you may need can be accessed in just an hour drive--rural farms, big city skyline, well-known restaurants, manicured parks, Lake Erie beaches. It's all at our fingertips."

The biggest point each cast and crew member kept circling back to was the incredible potential for rising filmmakers and talented actors in Cleveland. As Zach Shildwachter, Executive Producer of "THE SAMARITANS" framed it, "Cleveland is a wide open market. Ripe. A lot of people are demanding high quality local films, but there is limited supply. Our biggest obstacle as filmmakers is cultivating a tangible network. We need a sustainable base to grow from. We don't want to be some circus act that just rolls into town." I couldn't agree more. As glossy and glamorous big budget films in Cleveland are, if we really want that industry to thrive, let's start building it--by the people and for the people of CLE!

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So, CLE, are you ready? Are you jazzed? Well, may I present to you the long awaited, totally rad trailer for the making of this film I got to watch come to life. Click here for a link to the trailer of "THE SAMARITANS" or click the trailer below and be sure to like them on Facebook to stay tuned for the release of the final product! Young. Independent. Talented Filmmakers...making the magic happen in CLE! Enjoy :)

The Samaritans- Trailer

http://vimeo.com/52897175

www.thestudioonmars.com