26 Things I'd Tell Myself On My Sweet 16

So, two of my blogging beauty gal pals recently wrote posts about things they would have told "their younger selves" Sarah from Our Journey recently wrote this awesome post called "20 Things I Would Tell My 17 Year Old Self" and Katie from Call Me Trouble wrote "25 Things I Know (or Don't) Before I Turn 25" I LOVED their lists and thoughtful advice!

Welp, today is my last day of being 25 and I took the day off work and I'm being a bit nostalgic. I remember the day before my 16 birthday (scoff, a whole decade ago!) and how I literally was going nuts to turn 16 and "be an adult..." Oh, Lil Jessie! So, inspired by these other ladies' posts, here are 26 things I learned the past decade that I wish I could have told myself on my sweet 16:

1. I know you're jazzed about getting your license, but be careful. A garage door opener will prove to be your nemesis (swear to God), you'll wreck your Mom's car, and have some serious issues about reversing for the next 10 years. Don't worry, you'll get a sweet car eventually with a back-up camera and your reversing/parallel parking skills will significantly improve. You'll laugh at this story someday.
2. Be kind to your body, it's beautiful and the only one you get!
3. Liking school and loving to learn IS actually cool. The guy you're dating now and a couple after that will tease you about it, and you'll try to hide your bookworm tendencies. Own it. Being smart IS sexy and eventually you'll believe it and find a man who loves this about you most. 
4. I know you've missed your sister while she's been away at college, but you'll get the chance to live with her again.
   
   

   

   Halloween '10

   It will be fabulous and your relationship will grow closer and it will be some formidable years as a young adult.
   
   
5. Keep writing. You've been writing short stories and poems and essays. Be thankful you've already discovered this passion that will stick with you. Keep writing. It will serve you well in college and in your career. Keep writing.
6. Your family will heal itself. This is a really tough time for you and the whole family, I know. Next year, things will start to get better once Dad has his first surgery. It will be a rollercoaster, but it will get better and your family will heal and become stronger and closer. Which leads me to my next point...
7. Family first. I know you think your friends will always be there for you, but most of them will lose touch with you or grow in other directions or turn out not to be good for you. So appreciate your family and always put them first. Stop being a little wiener.
8. Drink lots of water. It'll make your skin prettier.
9. Your dance moves will only continue to improve...
   
   

   

   From the freshman year lean back belly rub...

   

   To the senior year hair swing raise the roof!

   
   
10. Your empathy is your best quality and worst quality, choose wisely. You have a kind heart and feel for others, but don't let them take advantage of you. You're extraordinarily loyal, but don't lose a sense of self by trying to help others solve their problems. Help others who help themselves.
11. Stop obsessing. Your mind is like a hamster on a wheel, always spinning. Your thought habit of worrying and catastrophizing scenarios in your head are useless. So stop now...
12. Okay, so you didn't listen about worrying about things that will most likely never happen... Now you have to deal with anxiety. And that's okay too. It will not kill you--it may feel like it will in the moment, but I promise the panic attack will subside. "This too shall pass" will become your fateful mantra, so learn to love it and live it. 
13. You'll forgo a high school graduation party in exchange for a trip to NYC to celebrate your graduation and 18th birthday with your sis. Great decision.
    
    
    It will be an adventure and you will meet a guy and it will be a whirlwind romance. Bet you didn't see that coming! But you'll learn a lot and what it feels like to be treated like a lady and develop a special place in your heart for NYC.
14. You'll get big boobs. 
15. Don't lose your sense of humor. Once a goofball, always a goofball. If you can laugh during a difficult situation, you win.
    
    
16. I know you're rolling your eyes at your Dad's advice now, but seriously, the guy's a trained clinical psychologist, and has got some years of life experience. "Push yourself. Don't take anyone's shit. Remember your breathing. Count your blessings. Say your prayers. Keep your spiritual light on."
    
17. You will never grow into your big feet. Sorry to burst your bubble kid, but 5'5 will be as good as it gets. 
18. There will be a monster hurricane that hits New Orleans as you begin your first week of college. It will haunt you and nag you. You'll write a paper about it, and become committed to finding a way to help. You'll get to the chance to go down there and build a house.
    
    
    
    
    It will forever impact you and open your eyes to the tremendous poverty, need, passion and resilience that the people of the Gulf Coast have in our own country. Be thankful.
    

    

    Miss Carolyn here personally knew 44 people
    who died in the storm
    yet had the most jovial spirit of anyone I've ever met.

19. Be authentic. Being yourself will make you far happier than trying to fit in or being someone you're not. It will help you navigate many future interactions and life decisions.
20. Fart jokes and people tripping or falling will still make you laugh 10 years from now. 
21. Trust your intuition. Your gut will prove to be right nearly 9 out of 10 times.
22. Everyone grieves differently, be kind to yourself. Haters gonna hate. This will be a tough lesson for you to learn after you lose one of your best friends but will make you stronger.
    

    

    Remember his love and light and laughter

23. Your Mom always encouraged you to appreciate the simple beauty, the awe of nature, the creativity of art, and the magnificence of ancient architecture. It sounds corny now, but you will come to realize what a wonderful appreciation she passed along to you.
    
    
24. The girl you met on your first day of high school is your homegirl by age 16. She's a good egg and will stick by you through the best of times and worst of times. She'll still be your best friend 10 years later and many more to come.
    
    
25.  You'll start a blog when you're 24. It will revolutionize your world and finally give you another learning challenge post-schooling. You will make amazing friends, push yourself to be more adventurous, satisfy your hunger to begin creative writing again, and have awesome opportunities along the way.
26.  Your journey is unfolding exactly as it should be. Reread that once again. One you believe in this, your entire world will open up. Keep JAMmin!
    
    

Monday Meditation: Give Your Soul Some Love and Be Your Self!

"Who you naturally are is FAR more inspiring than who you pretend to be. This is the fact. And what ELSE is cool is when we stop pretending to be someone and just start being ourselves, we are no longer BSing ourselves and so we actually take our power back, instead of giving it away by pretending to be perfect. And as we start to respect ourselves more, we take more action and as we take more action grounded in self-respect, really cool things start to happen and a positive cycle of momentum is created." -Mastin Kipp via The Daily Love

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I love this quote AND this visual. It really helps show the parallels and implications of choosing to listen to our EGO or our SOUL. When we are struggling or going through a period of growth it can be easy to listen to the ego: I'm not strong enough, brave enough, cool enough, beautiful enough. STOP. You ARE enough! The ego is that dark side buried in your sub-conscious that tries to convince you of negativity or self-doubt. 

I had a conversation with a girlfriend this weekend about the importance of  loving ALL aspects of yourself--the good, the bad, and the ugly...whole-heartedly...in order to give any part of yourself to another. Ah-ha!

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I struggled with this a few years ago as I suffered with severe anxiety. (I know, the social butterfly, wow!) I was going through a period of tremendous loss, change, and growth and was trying to manage my silly ego:

• I can handle this on my own, chin up, keep smiling
• People will think I am nuts if I explain what's going on
• I wish I could change what happened in the past
•  I am misunderstood/alone
•  Ego, ego, ego! 

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Everyone has their own battles, fears, or issues. It may not be anxiety or grief, but certainly everyone can relate to trying to silence a nagging ego, or trying to fit in, or denying some facet of ourselves that we wish wasn't there. But the more you resist, the more it persists!!!

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When I finally began to listen to my soul/inner JAM/true Self, my whole world began to open up!

The experience and challenge significantly changed me... for the better! It's all about what you choose to make of it, yes, make something of it! I hope by me sharing my experience will help some readers be themselves and give their souls some love and embrace the challenges they are facing!

Am I more forgiving of others now? Yes, everyone's facing a battle you may not know about! Did I learn to be grateful for each moment and appreciate my support system? Certainly, I am incredibly blessed! Do I still hear my ego? Sure, but it doesn't win when I simply listen to my authentic Self and stay present and positive!

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But most importantly I learned:

• Build on the positive and be productive
• Be true to my Self and not judge my Self so critically
• Be open and vulnerable around those I love and trust; I don't have to give everyone an explanation
• Surround my Self with those who lift me higher
• My family loves me unconditionally
• Everyone deals with loss and grief differently
• Getting help shows strength and humility!
• Be passionate about life...YOLO! I can only live in the Now
• Don't just talk about it, BE about it!
• I love ALL aspects of my Self!

So.......

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• How can you let go of your past?
• How can you be more gentle to your Self?
• Are you trying to impress others or are you being honest with your Self?
• How can you respect your body more?
• Are you listening to your ego or your authentic soul?
• Are you surrounding your Self with people who love, accept, and encourage you to be your Self?
• Are you being proactive and growing?
• Did you tell your Self today that you're awesome!

I say, give your soul some love and meditate on being your Self!

A JAM Blog-a-versary!!!!

Last December 15, I started my blogging venture and, whew--I could have never imagined what a wonderful journey it would be!

Make the ride bright!
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My very first post, I promised to spread that CLE JAM love all over the interwebs!

Spread that JAM!

My love and curiosity for my homeland of Cleveland has grown and evolved tremendously over 95 posts and countless escapades and new friends along the way. I finally kicked the post-grad 'brain drain' I had been experiencing and picked up the keyboard, drawing me back to my two favorite loves--writing and Cleveland!

CLE LOVE! Skyline via Lakewood Park
Photo by JAMinCLE

It took me awhile to find my "voice" on my blog and I think once I began to get the rhythm (we are JAMmin here right?!)...it became more authentic and open...and you, my CLE Believers, stuck by me every step of the way!

Big or small, step by step! via Edgewater Park
Photo by JAMinCLE

The first time I had a single post of mine hit 100 "views" was back in August, 8 months of working on my craft to get a rewarding response. And that's what I've learned--that blogging is truly a craft, commitment, and calculated art. The more I opened up my world, view, heart and adventures in CLE, the more the world and my readers opened up to me.

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Monday Meditations have proven to be an important weekly post for both my own personal growth and for the CLE Believers. It became such a great opportunity to pause, reflect, and begin the week on a positive note. And that's just it--we can either focus on the negative or the positive. And my take is--life is too short not to be positive!

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Along the way I've heard all sorts of feedback, encouragement and criticism. Some of my favorite hater lines and questions over the past year were:

-Why would anyone read a blog about Cleveland?
-What if nobody reads or cares what you have to say?
-Where does your blog live? (one of my personal favorites)
-Cleveland sucks
-Oh, you're a blogger (eye roll)

All valid questions and concerns I've faced and struggled with. So what did I do? I kept on writing! Yes, yes, I  AM a blogger! People may not always agree with my outlook, or love my positive take on life, or heck, they may not love Cleveland...but I do. And I just keep on writing. One post at a time. The positive experiences, people, stories, and  encouragement have far outweighed any of the criticisms! I've had the pleasure of making new friends who follow my blog and meet in real life, bringing talented young people and their products and films to the community, and stepping outside my comfort zone by attending events by myself, trying new places and having fun along the way. It's been real.

LOVE my city! Wo0o0

I choose to build and focus on the POSITIVE--events, restaurants, people, entrepreneurs, and hidden gems in life and in CLEVELAND. So thank you, thank you my CLE Believers...for venturing with me over the course of the year and for many posts to come. And remember, keep JAMmin!!!!

Girl on Fire!!!

Wordless Wednesday! Girl On Fire

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I just scooped up the brand new Alicia Keys Girl On Fire CD. Totally obsessed. Always have been a HUGE fan of her because she's an incredibly talented artist, gorgeous style icon, independent woman, and social activist. You go girl! So check out her new hit below that I've been JAMmin to all around C-Town... cuz this girl is on fi-yaaaah!

 Girl on Fire



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I love love the lyrics to this song, the happy video, her soulful voice, and sassy style! Totally making her new song my CLE woman anthem!



 

"Got both feet on the ground,

and she's burning it down,

she got her head in the clouds,

and she's not backing down...

this girl is on fire!"

-Alicia Keys

What do you think of the song and video? Share your thoughts!

Monday Meditation: Top 5 Thankful Thoughts

"My old dream was self-centered; my new dream is service oriented. And the baseline of this sounds cheesy, but it is gratitude. That's right. Simple gratitude. When I find that I focus on what I'm grateful for, the things I already have, the glorious and healthy body in which I reside, life opens."

-Mastin Kipp via The Daily Love

In light of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I want to focus on GRATITUDE. This quote from Mastin Kipp (if you haven't already signed up to receive his Daily Digest...what are you waiting for?!) is awesome and he always keeps it real. Recently, I was keepin it real with one of my gal pals, T.A. about things we were grateful for...whenever anyone asks you this question of thankfulness, gratitude, counting blessings (especially around the holidays) everyone seems to give the same standard answers which probably look something along the lines of this:

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But these are GIVENS! These are the wonderful foundations we often take for granted. So, we are all grateful for these standards, let's dig deeper! Why are we grateful for family? What makes them so special? How has good health truly impacted your life? Take a moment today to slow down and quantify and glorify these gifts into the daily encounters they are. The little things that I REAAAALLY appreciate, actually add up to the BIG things, called LIFE!

So here are my top 5 specific things I am grateful for today, and that continue to open up my life everyday.

1) Hula hooping. Yeah, betcha didn't see that one coming! My mom recently introduced me to the workout of hula hooping, believe me, I laughed, just as you probably are right now. It's completely ridiculous and an activity most of us haven't attempted since we were little rugrats. You feel awkward, silly, and over the top....and it's totally awesome, plus a FABULOUS core work out!!! Definitely recommend getting back in touch with your health and fitness in a fun and light way. It will make you appreciate the fact that working out doesn't always have to suck, you can slim down your belly and hips as you swivel to some jams, and help release your pent up frustrations after a stressful work day! Check out Gabby Bernstein's book: Add More ~ing to Your Life for other suggestions of how to add more action and happiness to your life (Thanks for the recommendation, Allison!)

Proof, hooping makes you laugh and your body feel good

2) My sister's phenomenal cooking skills. Seriously, this girl has NEVER cooked up a bad meal before...even at 2am after a night of festivities...she's the only person I know that will not only insist you eat a good "snack" before bed...but she turns it into a gourmet creation... she's not gonna zap something in the microwave for you. No, she goes all out to make a tasty surprise--like the fresh thick toasted sandwich with mortadella, cheddar and spinach she just popped in the broiler for me during the wee hours of Sunday morning. She serves up dishes, snacks, sammies--you name it, straight from the heart. Her thoughtfulness to serve a good meal to her loved ones at any time of the day or night fills me up, but also nourishes the spirit. Best.Sister/Cook.EVER.

3) Being included in friends' big life events. Okay, we already know we're all thankful for our friends. But what about pulling off the surprise of a lifetime...and witness the shock and elation on your gal pal's face as she walks in after accepting a surprise proposal from the man of her dreams, to be greeted by her friends & family waiting for her. Yes! This weekend my good friends Julie & Ryan got engaged, and we were all so thrilled to be included as part of the special occasion. All those nights of hanging out with them and witnessing the sparks lead to what we had all been rooting for--a spectacular engagement between two hilarious and genuinely great human beings! So thankful I got to share in part of this new chapter of your lives!

Congrats Ryan & Julie!!

"Bling bling!"

Supppper jazzed for Julie! Congrats lady!!!

4) Sweet finds at Marshall's that make you stop and say, "Wow, Marshall's, sh*t just got real. Thank you." I discovered this gem while recently perusing the aisles of Marshall's. It pretty much jumped off the shelf and smacked me upside the head. I needed it--figuratively and literally. The past few months have certainly been shaken up and very challenging in some aspects of my life. And yet, simultaneuously--it's terrific, and life is opening up in ways I never imagined either. Even when things don't go according to the original plan, there is always a much BETTER and BIGGER plan that's unfolding and gently guiding you without you even knowing it! As Mastin put it "my old dream was self-centered; my new dream is service oriented." Life suddenly becomes way more rich when you come to the realization that "Your journey is unfolding exactly as it should be!"



5) Meeting new great people in Cleveland at events that benefit our city and its residents. This past weekend, I participated in our YP Pantry "Give Thanks" event at a local church. We distributed a hot meal, canned food, to-go food, fresh produce, and some well wishes to people who've fallen down on their luck. My job was to help make 70+ bagged peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We then helped serve nearly a 100 people hot meals. The pastor of the church informed us that despite distributing food 4 times a month for the past 18 years, they only had the opportunity to SERVE meals to guests twice, the other times people had to stand in line and wait for a plate. People were so thankful and appreciative to have someone serve them at a table setting. It was a truly humbling experience, not only was I thankful that I've never experienced the burden of worrying about where my next hot meal is coming from, but also because it validated the fact that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Everyone! 

Peanut butter jelly tiiiiime!
Photo source: YP Pantry Facebook Page

Not only was it incredible to be able to give back and help others in need, but I also met & chatted with some great new friends from YP Pantry too. Win, win! Be sure to check out our next YP Pantry event in which a portion of your bill is donated directly back to the Cleveland Foodbank. Join in the festivities and true holiday spirit by contributing to a worthy cause while enjoying Christmas Ale, cookies, and ugly Christmas sweaters. A lot of great things to give THANKS for here in CLE!

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So, what are your top 5 thankful thoughts for today? Daily acts of service, faith, inclusion, health and fitness contribute to our overall well-being. Break down the clichés, get to the nitty-gritty things that help you grind through the day, and take time this week to say THANK YOU for all the little things that really make a BIG difference in our lives!

Here's a final sendoff...of JESSICA'S daily affirmations. LOVE it! (Thanks, T.A. for getting me hip to the other thankful Jessica!)



Happy JAM!

As I sit here beginning to write this post at 5:30am on Saturday morning, I can't help but think...HAPPINESS! So I've been doing a lot of work on myself these past few months (as I'm sure you loyal readers can tell!) and I had an awesome breakthrough earlier this week! I felt a huge sense of relief and peace as all signs pointed --> stay true to my integrity, my path, my inner JAM. I feel it in my belly now--as I felt my life speeding up all too quickly (new job, 2 major moves, an Adele-style breakup, and moving back home after being on my own for the past 5 years) my inner JAM was finally given the combination of events to be able to slow down and be heard!!!

Stop coasting, and start LISTENING to me!
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Now, those of you who aren't "there" yet--please feel free to skip ahead two paragraphs  :)

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As soon as I began to trust in the "powers to be" I felt everything slowly begin to quiet. Like the universe was unfolding precisely according to some greater plan--although it was entirely different than the plan I had created in my own limited perspective. Oh humans! So, as soon as I began to relinquish that power and control--little miracles began happening. And awesome positive opportunities are popping up before my very eyes. My creative ideas are swirling and my writing is consistent and stronger than ever. And I feel like I am being guided in the RIGHT direction.

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It's kind of like chess. I have NO CLUE how to play. It looks super serious and fancy. It's strategic & smart people play it. Here's the thing, I had been playing checkers this whole time (doh!), and once I realized I was playing a much more advanced game--the universe/God/faith/karma/guardian angel/inner JAM has guided me towards positive moves! I'm still figuring it out as I go along and faking it till I make it. But I feel it--I am winning. Winning myself in the game of life! CHECKMATE, please!

Checkmate
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So, now that we've discussed Happy JAM, let's add Happy Hour at Happy Dog. (I know, you're head may explode, but stick with me). I met my trusty homeboy Evan for a beer, a dog and some tots at the beloved Happy Dog.

 

We don't mess around...we're here to get HAPPY!

Oh the life choices and topping choices at Happy Dog!

 

Serious business!!!

 

I have this incredible business idea for CLE (more on that coming later) and I finally shared it with someone outside my family. (Don't worry--you can try to squeeze it out of him, but he's been sworn to secrecy. Seriously, he has INTEGRITY.) Ok, so we met and fleshed out all of these spectacular ideas to help get this idea off the ground. I felt my belly burning as the ideas continued to swell, bounce and reverberate in the perfect atmosphere--HAPPY DOG! When you surround yourself with good people--good things HAPPEN! This is the beginning of a journey to something great, so buckle up...

Enjoy the ride!
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I'm not quite sure how it's all going to flesh out, or where it will end up--but I feel it, I believe it, I'm in it to win it, and it's for the greater good! The fire is lit, the sparks are flying, and I am IN LOVE--with myself...and with you, CLE!!!!

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Have a JAMmin Saturday my CLE-BELIEVERS!!!

Wordless Wednesday Post: Get a Sense of Integrity

Things often become imbalanced in life: your workload, your stress level, your workout routine, your priorities, your relationships and it weighs you down....

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And even when it does become imbalanced, and your back aches, your head aches, your heart aches or your mind aches-- we always have a choice of how to react, it's called free will. So weigh your options wisely:

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And always uphold your integrity! Even when people don't like it...



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Because:

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So keep JAMmin CLE, because when you keep your sense of integrity you

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